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06 September 2010 @ 02:15 pm
A Shorts Story  
This is a story that is both short and about shorts. Everybody hates puns, but I don't care!

I woke up late for work the other day and was rushing to look semi-presentable and still clock in before 7:11, the magical time when I am considered officially late. I wasn't too concerned about my attire since there's no dress code at my current job, so I just picked up the closest clothes to me, which happened to be the clothes I'd worn when hanging out with my bestie the day before. No one at work would know I wore them two days in a row, so it's all gravy, right?

Sure! Until I put on my shorts, and the legs are all wet. And there's a wet spot on my crotch. And they smell like vanilla. What the hell? I wasn't yet awake enough to process anything except, "I obviously need to wear a different pair of shorts today."

Fast forward to a couple hours later, and I'm having coffee to attempt to liven things up. I can't deal with all the bitterness, though, so I added some sugar and creamer. And then it hit me! Heather and I had stolen French Vanilla creamer from Chik-Fil-A the day before and I'd forgotten it was in my pocket. Mystery solved!

I was elated I'd been able to use my sleuthing skills until a while later when I felt a draft on my right upper thigh. It's always cold in the office, but this was an unusually bitter chill. Imagine my great surprise when I found this:

I tried my best to stay in my seat the rest of the day. Thank goodness it was tax-free weekend. I bought three pairs of shorts to avoid such a debacle again.

I guess celebrities don't have a monopoly on wardrobe malfunctions.