I cried twice before work this morning. I cried twice at my desk at the office. I've been ugly crying off and on since I got home around 6:30.

I grieve for the 49 victims, many of them young people, whose lives were ended too soon. I grieve for the 53 others whose lives are forever changed. I grieve for all the friends and families who surely were unable to work today.

I can't stop thinking of the mother who received texts from her child right before he was slain, telling her that he was about to die. I can't imagine how painful and saddening it must be to receive that text message. I have no idea what it's like to be a parent, but I do have a heart, and today it is breaking.

I am also scared. There is no reason this couldn't have happened on 4th Street here in Austin or Montrose in Houston. Only sheer luck prevented me and loved ones from being one of the victims. Homophobia still runs strong in this country, and I could be slain with an assault rifle any time I visit a crowded public space.

My grief is slowly becoming rage at the heterosexual, white, cisgender, privileged male politicians who care more about NRA campaign contributions than protecting their constituents from gun violence. Rage that they think people really need assault weapons to hunt or defend themselves. Rage this has happened so many times, and yet, people just offer "thoughts and prayers."

I don't need your thoughts and prayers. I need you to do your effing job, and pass sensible legislation to prevent these events from happening and to lessen the effects of future attacks.

We are the only advanced country in the world that has this level of gun violence. You can't convince me that our government cannot do more to protect us. So I'll be writing tear-stained letters to my elected officials. I invite everyone else to do the same.
  • Current Mood
    sad sad

Love is Weird

How can you tell if someone wants to be with you because they really care for you or if they want a boyfriend and you're a good, single guy who won't abuse them? Now I'm conflicted again.


Corey and I have always had a weird relationship.

I don't remember when or how we started chatting online via Yahoo! Messenger, back in the day when people still used it. We didn't even chat all that often, just occasionally when we saw each other online. We'd chat a couple days in a row, then I might not chat with him for six months or so. Once when I was in college, I went to Houston with some friends, I ran into him outside American Apparel. (How can I remember the name of that store I never go to, but I can't remember geometry equations?) I knew of him for ages, but he was of little importance to me. We never lived in the same city or anywhere near each other, so why should he have been?

A couple years ago when I was living in Houston, we resumed chatting. His parents live in the Houston area and he was visiting them this weekend. Did I want to hang out with him on his way back to San Antonio? Why not?

Not gonna lie, it was pretty nice. I feel like he is smarter than me, and it felt pretty good to beat him at Scrabble. And we have pretty awesome chemistry. Cuddling with him was amazing! Wrapping my arms around him and feeling his flat stomach just felt right. (Not just because he is physically hotter than me, BTW. Also I have better hair than he does..)

Then I went to jail. I wrote him. I never heard back. He wrote me twice, though I never got his letters for whatever reason. I thought about writing him a second time, but I figured he had just written me off.

Since then, we have chatted infrequently but haven't seen each other. Honestly, he wasn't a a good long-distance boyfriend. When we were together, it was AWESOME, but when we were apart, it felt like I was single. He was obsessed with work and would rarely talk or text. It was weird, because he was incredibly devoted when we were together. I would get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and he'd be like, "Nooooo don't stop cuddling!" (Kind of annoying because it's not like I'm going to be in the bathroom long or that he wants me to pee on him, but kind of cute that he missed me immediately.) He also told me he loved me when we first met, and that he had loved me when he first saw me. Weird!

Three weeks ago, he said he wanted to "have a serious conversation about dating again." A week later, he tells me he's moving to Austin and, "we should be roommates." It still seems weird to me that he worded it that way when it's obvious we'd be more than roommates, but yeah. It's weird to say that when we haven't seen each other in 18 months, and honestly we didn't know each other that well when we were dating.

Earlier he posted about how he was at the HRC Gala in Houston. For some reason, that makes me want to say yes. He is on a bunch of pro-LGBT committees for his work at universities.

There's a lot we don't have in common. Sometimes I think he's too serious, and sometimes I obviously want to have too much fun. But sometimes I think we can complement each other. I never want to drink with him because I am just happy, He was pretty devoted to me when we were together in the past, so I feel like if we lived in the same city he'd tame himself a bit.

I'm obviously not going to say yes to someone I haven't seen in 18 months and I want to see him a few times before I make a decision, but the more I think about it, the more I want to say "yes."


Dear LiveJournal,

One of my co-workers helped to code you. How awesome is that? He's actually the co-founder of the company where I work.

I spent most of the past weekend taking care of my family. I bought a stuffed crust pizza to make peace with my deadbeat brother. I gave a pep talk to my mom, and I redid her resume. It was in NOTEPAD, and it was soooooo long. It had way too much information, like the name of her nursing teacher in 1995. No one cares about that shiz. I condensed it so it looks awesome. I also did all the housework so she could search for new jobs and study Excel. I also paid bus fare for a stranger who was trying to get to work and care for his family.

I have so much going on. Work is busy. I am trying to write for my blog, and I got an idea for a pretty amazing book. I am studying for the GMAT, and it is HARD. My cat is more neurotic than Elliot Reid from [scrubs].

Corey recently asked me, "Why did you stop loving me?"

I didn't, you asshole. We'd still be together if you would just try.

I'm listening to Angela Lansbury sing "Beauty and the Beast" on repeat. She and I are both awesome. I am an awesome, nurturing person, and I will be a super amazing husband to someone, someday.

I will be such a good husband. And I am an awesome writer. Why am I doing fucking tech support? And why am I single? I just wanna be held.

Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It's past your bedtime.


I rarely get actually angry, but my family is pushing me over the edge.

I don't have to start working until 9am, so I try to sleep at least until 8 and get a decent amount of sleep. It's hard enough when my body decides not to fall asleep until 3am or when it wakes up 7 times a night after weird, freaky dreams.

It's a lot harder when my mom, who's a volcano of negativity that erupts 800 times a day, decides to spew ash over a 3289478947-mile radius via a phone conversation at 6:30am. Why, there are people trying to sleep in the rooms next to you. That must mean PUT MY CONVERSATION ON SPEAKERPHONE and, even though I'm on speakerphone, SPEAK IN MY LOUDEST INDOOR VOICE (remember the indoor voice from elementary?) and COMPLAIN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. Why should I close the door when I'm yelling at 6:30 in the morning? I mean, I couldn't possibly disturb anyone at that hour, could I? Let me just vacuum and dump 800 boulders on the roof and invite the circus to perform in the living room too. That will help people IN THE NEXT ROOM sleep peacefully.

My brother, in a drastic turn of events, actually decided to be productive yesterday and clean everything in our room. This would normally be considered awesome, but by cleaning, he means organize the things I never use and then take all the things I do want to use and put them somewhere I will never think to look. The Wii and Playstation 2 were plugged in, but the controls to said devices must've been thrown into a black hole that is closer to Pluto than to Earth. There was no way to play anything that could have drowned out my mom who was louder than a hormonal teenage girl who first had a huge acne breakout the day before prom and was then dumped by the quarterback of the football team, who then proceeded to drive by the girl's house in a limousine with the head cheerleader.

My mom FINALLY leaves for work, so I try to lay down and relax before I have to get out of bed. I can't possibly go back to sleep after this debacle, but maybe I can relax some now, right? WRONG. For some reason, my brother, who is not working, has an alarm set for 7:15am. Why? I have no idea. It's certainly not because he has a job and is helping to pay rent like he promised, though if that was the case I would be THRILLED he was waking up. But no, it seems the alarm is set solely to piss me the hell off when I'm already angry.

Of course, thirty seconds after the alarm is off, he's snoring again. Meanwhile, I'm fuming. Heaven forbid I get any sleep, when I'm the only person in the house who's had an income this month. I'm so pissed off there's now way I could fall asleep even if Chris WASN'T snoring at a volume of 3045089 decibels, and I have to be awake in an hour anyway.


Why I Won't Renew My Lease

Dear Madam,

I am writing to deliver a formal complaint against the management of your apartment complex and to receive compensation under Sec. 92.0081. of CHAPTER 92. RESIDENTIAL TENANCIES SUBCHAPTER A. GENERAL PROVISIONS of the Texas Property Code. The relevant sections are enclosed below for your reference.

(b) A landlord may not intentionally prevent a tenant from entering the leased premises except by judicial process unless the exclusion results from:
(1) bona fide repairs, construction, or an emergency;
(2) removing the contents of premises abandoned by a tenant; or
(3) changing the door locks on the door to the tenant's individual unit of a tenant who is delinquent in paying at least part of the rent.
(c) If a landlord or a landlord's agent changes the door lock of a tenant who is delinquent in paying rent, the landlord or the landlord's agent must place a written notice on the tenant's front door stating:
(1) an on-site location where the tenant may go 24 hours a day to obtain the new key or a telephone number that is answered 24 hours a day that the tenant may call to have a key delivered within two hours after calling the number;
(2) the fact that the landlord must provide the new key to the tenant at any hour, regardless of whether or not the tenant pays any of the delinquent rent; and
(3) the amount of rent and other charges for which the tenant is delinquent.
(d) A landlord may not intentionally prevent a tenant from entering the leased premises under Subsection (b)(3) unless:
(1) the landlord's right to change the locks because of a tenant's failure to timely pay rent is placed in the lease;
(2) the tenant is delinquent in paying all or part of the rent; and
(3) the landlord has locally mailed not later than the fifth calendar day before the date on which the door locks are changed or hand-delivered to the tenant or posted on the inside of the main entry door of the tenant's dwelling not later than the third calendar day before the date on which the door locks are changed a written notice stating:
(A) the earliest date that the landlord proposes to change the door locks;
(B) the amount of rent the tenant must pay to prevent changing of the door locks;
(C) the name and street address of the individual to whom, or the location of the on-site management office at which, the delinquent rent may be discussed or paid during the landlord's normal business hours; and
(D) in underlined or bold print, the tenant's right to receive a key to the new lock at any hour, regardless of whether the tenant pays the delinquent rent.
(h) If a landlord violates this section, the tenant may:
(1) either recover possession of the premises or terminate the lease; and
(2) recover from the landlord a civil penalty of one month's rent plus $1,000, actual damages, court costs, and reasonable attorney's fees in an action to recover property damages, actual expenses, or civil penalties, less any delinquent rent or other sums for which the tenant is liable to the landlord.”

Your apartment management has violated the Texas property code (and provided poor customer service) in the following ways:

1) On June 26, 2012 you locked me out of my apartment without ANY notice, written or otherwise. The only notice I ever received was dated July 25, 2012 but was delivered to me personally by a maintenance man on July 27, 2012, after I had already spoken to the office manager. This notice merely stated that I had a past due balance and did not mention being locked out in any matter. I am also providing a copy of that letter, to follow after this complaint.
2) At the time of lockout, there was no notice whatsoever letting me know how to contact management to gain re-entry to my apartment or to pay the delinquent amount.
3) No written notice was posted via mail or by note to my door by the 5th of the month stating either that they intended to lock me out or even that I had a past due balance.
4) Today, July 12, 2012, I received a notice that the management intended to lock me out again within 24 hours, but did not do so in a timely manner and did not inform me that even if I was locked out, that I could receive a key to gain re-entry at any hour in underlined or bold print. A copy of this notice (which also has terrible formatting and typographical errors) will also accompany this letter.
5) No written notice was posted via mail or by note to my door by the 5th of the month stating either that they intended to lock me out or even that I had a past due balance in this instance either.

Though your management has not followed the Texas property code for two months in a row in the ways mentioned above, I am a reasonable person and I would greatly like to reach a resolution with you without having to contact your corporate offices, the Texas attorney general or the Federal Trade Commission. I am providing payment to you today via money order as requested, and I kindly request credit worth two (2) months rent, which is still well below the amount I could legally claim.

Please contact me at your earliest convenience regarding this matter. I can be reached via email and telephone, and I am eager to work with you towards a resolution to this matter.


Tim A. Church
  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off

A Shorts Story

This is a story that is both short and about shorts. Everybody hates puns, but I don't care!

I woke up late for work the other day and was rushing to look semi-presentable and still clock in before 7:11, the magical time when I am considered officially late. I wasn't too concerned about my attire since there's no dress code at my current job, so I just picked up the closest clothes to me, which happened to be the clothes I'd worn when hanging out with my bestie the day before. No one at work would know I wore them two days in a row, so it's all gravy, right?

Sure! Until I put on my shorts, and the legs are all wet. And there's a wet spot on my crotch. And they smell like vanilla. What the hell? I wasn't yet awake enough to process anything except, "I obviously need to wear a different pair of shorts today."

Fast forward to a couple hours later, and I'm having coffee to attempt to liven things up. I can't deal with all the bitterness, though, so I added some sugar and creamer. And then it hit me! Heather and I had stolen French Vanilla creamer from Chik-Fil-A the day before and I'd forgotten it was in my pocket. Mystery solved!

I was elated I'd been able to use my sleuthing skills until a while later when I felt a draft on my right upper thigh. It's always cold in the office, but this was an unusually bitter chill. Imagine my great surprise when I found this:

I tried my best to stay in my seat the rest of the day. Thank goodness it was tax-free weekend. I bought three pairs of shorts to avoid such a debacle again.

I guess celebrities don't have a monopoly on wardrobe malfunctions.

Tim is a Ditz.

Last night, I got REALLY annoyed.

It's Summer in Texas, and that means it's hot. And humid. And that makes for an irritable Tim. And he's especially irritable when the air conditioner doesn't work.

I went to some trouble to make sure it wasn't working properly. I checked all the vents. I made sure the filter wasn't super dirty.

Additionally, I spent a LOT of time fuming. It was just too damn hot. And it was nighttime, when it's supposed to be semi-cool. What the hell!?

I wrote a note to the apartment office asking them to check it out ASAP. I even delivered it to the office in my Snoopy boxers and a muscle shirt. I was determined to get this fixed.

This morning when I woke up, it was still running and it was still warm. FRUSTRATING. I went to check the thermostat one more time aaannnddd...

..it turns out I am big and dumb.

I had it on fan.

Boo on You, Maine

How would you feel if you woke up one day, and you read that over half the people in your country believed you didn't have the right to get married?

I don't know about you, but I am livid.

I've been the subject of many off-color jokes. I've been given a lot of funny looks, and many people have made snide remarks. I've been threatened and I've had people throw things at me. This is all because I'm gay, something I have no control over.

I know some people dispute this, and they say that it is a a "choice." Why on the world would I choose to be looked down upon by so many people, especially growing up in a small town in Texas in the Bible Belt? Why would I choose to be socially ousted? Or threatened? Or laughed at every day of my secondary school career? Why on earth would anyone choose that?

There's no choice involved. I can't even choose to get married to someone I love. (I know I'm single, but that is beside the point.) Why does anyone else have the right to say who I can or cannot marry? Why is my love less valid? Because it's in the Bible?

I understand the religious aspect to marriage. And churches should absolutely have the right to say who gets married within their walls. However, it's also a legal act. For many people - including heterosexuals - marriage has nothing to do with religion. It's an act of love and commitment. If you're going to go this route, you may as well pass laws saying atheists can't get married. Jewish people should push for laws restricting the consumption of pork.

But wait! They're forcing their religious views on us! And that's right. It wouldn't be fair for Jewish people to say the rest of us can't eat pork. It's right up there with people saying I can't get married.

Honestly, this makes me feel like half of the country doesn't view me as a full person. Who would have the audacity to go up to someone and tell them they don't have the right to get married? Who's to say that I should be taxed just because I'm gay? (If you're wondering, gay couples who don't enjoy the legal benefits of marriage, on top of feeling insulted, have to pay much more over the course of their lives; more information on just how much was reported in this article of the New York Times.)

I would never dare to tell someone they didn't deserve marriage, or what they should do in their church, or what they should do in the privacy of their own homes. But I will say this:

You don't have the right to tell me who I can love.

I Need a Scale.

I posted a while back that I was gonna try and lose weight again.

I have been doing pretty horribly with exercise; I've hardly done any. I also haven't actively changed my eating habits much yet; I do eat less, but it's because I have a job now, and I don't eat a ton of crap because I am sitting at home bored all day.

When I weighed myself the day of that post, I weighed 229 pounds. This past Saturday, I weighed myself at a friend's: 220 pounds. Today I weighed myself on the demo scales at Walmart - yes, I'm cheap/poor - and I weighed 215, 216 and 218 pounds.
So I have last anywhere from 10-15 pounds.

I am doing a better job of eating breakfast every day, but I need to cut back on eating out, and I could stand to do some exercise on my days off. (Have I done any today? No, haha.)

I'm doing better than I thought, but I really need to improve. The last ten pounds will be way harder to lose than the first ten.

Also, I need to break down and buy a scale, so I can actually gauge my improvement. Maybe when I get paid Friday.