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05 April 2014 @ 10:46 pm
Corey and I have always had a weird relationship.

I don't remember when or how we started chatting online via Yahoo! Messenger, back in the day when people still used it. We didn't even chat all that often, just occasionally when we saw each other online. We'd chat a couple days in a row, then I might not chat with him for six months or so. Once when I was in college, I went to Houston with some friends, I ran into him outside American Apparel. (How can I remember the name of that store I never go to, but I can't remember geometry equations?) I knew of him for ages, but he was of little importance to me. We never lived in the same city or anywhere near each other, so why should he have been?

A couple years ago when I was living in Houston, we resumed chatting. His parents live in the Houston area and he was visiting them this weekend. Did I want to hang out with him on his way back to San Antonio? Why not?

Not gonna lie, it was pretty nice. I feel like he is smarter than me, and it felt pretty good to beat him at Scrabble. And we have pretty awesome chemistry. Cuddling with him was amazing! Wrapping my arms around him and feeling his flat stomach just felt right. (Not just because he is physically hotter than me, BTW. Also I have better hair than he does..)

Then I went to jail. I wrote him. I never heard back. He wrote me twice, though I never got his letters for whatever reason. I thought about writing him a second time, but I figured he had just written me off.

Since then, we have chatted infrequently but haven't seen each other. Honestly, he wasn't a a good long-distance boyfriend. When we were together, it was AWESOME, but when we were apart, it felt like I was single. He was obsessed with work and would rarely talk or text. It was weird, because he was incredibly devoted when we were together. I would get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and he'd be like, "Nooooo don't stop cuddling!" (Kind of annoying because it's not like I'm going to be in the bathroom long or that he wants me to pee on him, but kind of cute that he missed me immediately.) He also told me he loved me when we first met, and that he had loved me when he first saw me. Weird!

Three weeks ago, he said he wanted to "have a serious conversation about dating again." A week later, he tells me he's moving to Austin and, "we should be roommates." It still seems weird to me that he worded it that way when it's obvious we'd be more than roommates, but yeah. It's weird to say that when we haven't seen each other in 18 months, and honestly we didn't know each other that well when we were dating.

Earlier he posted about how he was at the HRC Gala in Houston. For some reason, that makes me want to say yes. He is on a bunch of pro-LGBT committees for his work at universities.

There's a lot we don't have in common. Sometimes I think he's too serious, and sometimes I obviously want to have too much fun. But sometimes I think we can complement each other. I never want to drink with him because I am just happy, He was pretty devoted to me when we were together in the past, so I feel like if we lived in the same city he'd tame himself a bit.

I'm obviously not going to say yes to someone I haven't seen in 18 months and I want to see him a few times before I make a decision, but the more I think about it, the more I want to say "yes."